Posted tagged ‘Pregnancy’

Bedrest vs Work

December 8, 2010

So, yesterday I was officially put on bedrest that was set to begin today.

However, I went to work today, because I am a workaholic who has trouble handing over control of her classroom to someone else.

This all came as a pretty big shock because everything had been improving and the doctor has been so optimistic at each appointment.  Even things at work have been good, all 8 boys were beautifully behaved for the last week and a half.  I had all these fun Christmas plans with them (because we live in a rural, insanely religious, everyone is the same kinda place we call it Christmas) .

We have an art project a day next week, a tree to put up and decorate, a Christmas play to put on, cookies to bake together, a party to have, and gifts to make for their families.

And now, I have to hand over all the fun to someone else so I can sit on the couch and rest.  I know it sounds dumb to complain about, but no matter how much I complain some days, I love teaching, and being away from it is hard.

Plus, my desk was still a freaking mess and I feel bad for the poor woman who has to take over my desk and try to find anything useful.  I had grand plans for cleaning that up as well…

I guess I can look on the bright side and know that I will now get to watch all the girl movies I can stand, check facebook ten million times a day, read blogs that I rarely get time to enjoy, and maybe help keep my poor husband from going crazy with our kitchen remodel.  That last one is a maybe cause I am not really that useful for anything other than finding overly priced things I want and last minute projects we should add in.




A Small Update

November 15, 2010

An update, without much information yet.

The doctor’s office called today and I thought it was going to be about the blood test results, however, the nurse very nervously said they don’t have those results yet, but that the doctor has decided she would like me to come in 2 times a week for ultrasounds, non-stress tests, and visit.

I know she is being cautious, I just wish I knew more.  2 times a week is so crazy sounding to say out loud, especially when once every 2 weeks is the norm right now.

I am not a person of organized religion, I have faith in a higher power, and I am not often one to ask for prayers, but if you are the type to pray, please send up good thoughts for us and this new little one.


More tomorrow …

Let’s All Hurry Up and Wait Together

November 9, 2010

This pregnancy baffles me.

My blood pressure has been through the roof, I have been having contractions on and off,  and just feel pretty run down.

I am resting a great deal, I am eating well, I am taking vitamins, I am now taking blood pressure medicine, I have been careful but not overly careful, and last week I was moved to weekly appointments  and non-stress tests, and ultrasounds every few weeks.

While I was not excited about weekly visits or non-stress tests (monitoring the baby’s heart rate and checking for contractions for a half hour) I was quite excited about this first ultrasound.  We haven’t had a glimpse of this little guy since 19 weeks and I couldn’t wait to see how he was growing and doing in there.

My appointment started out well, during the non-stress test there were no contractions this week, the baby’s heart rate was fantastic.  I went to the ultrasound and the lady was really nice, not overly chatty, and in the end she printed a few pictures of the babies face and showed me that his “junk” was all there and that he is indeed a boy, and sent me on my way.

I went and left a urine sample (sorry for the TMI) and got weighed and lost 2 lbs.  All I can say to that is, Woohoo!!! I sit down in the exam room and the nurse takes my blood pressure and it is 112/88 and things seem to be on the up swing here.

The doctor comes in and we are chatting about my blood pressure improvement, exchanging jokes and laughing.  I was two seconds from walking out the door a happy and relaxed woman for the first time in weeks.

Then the nurse came and ruined it all.  She had a report from the ultrasound tech. and she said “she wanted to make sure you looked at this.”

Things like that should be said outside the room, dammit!

The doctor looked at it and replied to the nurse well, make sure she has another ultrasound scheduled soon and schedule a torch test. At this point all I can think of is the Monty Python sketch about witch hunting.

She then turns to me and say “it seems the baby’s head is larger than his body and I since we don’t really know why we are just gonna look into it before we worry about it.”   Which is reassuring for about 10 minutes or so (pretty much just long enough for me to head over to the lab).  I leave the office to go for my now, mostly mysterious, Torch test and while I am sitting there I realize, wait a minute, I shouldn’t worry or stress about this, but hmmm, it does seem concerning come to think of it.

The baby’s head is bigger than it should be and his body is smaller.  So I figure I will call Dan, he can quickly look this up, ease my worries, and this will be fine.

Wrong, my phone does not work there, because AT&T sucks balls here, so now I am sitting in a waiting room thinking, and that is Dangerous folks.  Sit a pregnant lady alone in a waiting room to worry and make up her own solutions and you get some pretty crazy stuff.

Now, the Torch test is a blood test looking for infections that could be the root cause of this, and after they draw 8 (yup, I said 8) vials of blood I am free to go home and worry some more there. And be grilled as to the exact wording of everything said, because my memory is shitty and I can really only pick out the important phrases and not exact wording.

Let me just say – searching the internet has not been my friend.

So now, I will hurry up and wait, to find out the deal and hope that everything will be fine.


Have I ever mentioned I suck at waiting?

Next time, I am not answering questions

October 15, 2010

The last few days have been nutty.  On Wednesday at work one of my students punched me in the ribs (he lost his pen and freaked out and I was in the way).  At first it didn’t really hurt, and then, it did.  So, of course, being pregnant and easily worried, I called my doctor’s office to just make sure everything would be fine.

The call itself went fine, I think the doctor thought I was kidding.  They of course told me to come in so they could do some observations and said not to drive myself.  So finding someone at my new job to drive me that I know well enough to ask to drive me 30 minutes away was kinda hard.  In the end, I did find someone and I was glad that she was so nice.

We got to the doctor’s office and sat for a while until the called me back only to say they were sending me over to labor and delivery.

The poor lady who came with me then of course felt obligated to stay until my husband came with the kids.  Needless to say this very kind lady ended up with more information about me (my birthday, my address, my life story), my sex life (no I had not had sex in the last 24 hours, no I was not being forced to have sex against my will or being hurt physically/emotionally), and my child birthing history (yes, I have 2 children, vaginally delivered, yes this was indeed my 4th pregnancy, no I wasn’t still hiding #4 in the closet or anything)  than she could possibly want to know, even if I am the new lady on campus, see I bet you didn’t really wanna know all that either.

So in the hospital they hooked me up to monitors, checked my blood pressure, and the doctor came in all roughly around the same time.  It was crazy and overwhelming and of course he starts in with a new round of questions and so I say things I don’t want to say, that make him give me this look of worry and then say “well we just need to run a few additional tests, so hunker down for a while.”  At this point my husband still hasn’t left home and I am just sitting there wishing that had remembered to wear nicer underwear today.

Trying to end the obligation and let this poor woman go home I tell her my husband is sure to be here soon and that she can go home, no big deal.  I promise. She, being the uber nice lady she is, stayed strong and continued to wait.

When my husband does come (about 2 hours in), I almost forgot to introduce them.  It was a weird situation.

As it turns out, this was a very long night of the” hurry up wait ” game and they made me stay overnight and it was this whole ordeal. As life works out, things went pretty well, just some crummy food, a lot of being woken up, and a few times pushing on my bruised ribs to make sure they felt better.  The baby is doing well, he is quite active, and seems to be happy in his little cocoon.

Only 74 days left.  Hopefully nothing else exciting happening in that time, other than my kitchen actually being finished.


October 3, 2009

Well, after my last post I couldn’t wait and I  secretly took a pregnancy test.  I was horribly excited and could barely wait the prescribed amount of time to look at it. And though, those three minutes seemed so very long, I survived without peeking once.

When I looked I saw that much awaited second line!  I actually jumped up and down, I was thrilled, no,  I was beyond thrilled. That’s when I decided to wait and tell my husband on our 6th anniversary (in a few weeks) figuring that it would make things more fun and be the best “free” present ever.  Plus, I knew he had his suspicions anyway.  Besides what’s 2 weeks?

Apparently, two weeks is more than enough time to have a miscarriage.  Just the other day after I took the test I started to have cramps and feel terrible.  One thing led to another and I am having a full blown period, and more.  I am sad, and now I don’t know how to tell my husband, and  I think I probably won’t.  Life here has been a little stressful these days, with trying to buy a house and me in school and working, and adding to that won’t really be helpful.  I think I will just wait for the day that I can tell him that we are pregnant.


September 28, 2009

Well, I am at the point now where I could take a pregnancy test, but I am scared.

When I was 20 I was told that I would never have children unless there was an act of god or huge amounts of fertility drugs.  I was really sad at the time because I felt like I had lost out on my only chance to have kids when I was young, stupid, and apparently yet to have hormone issues.  So, after a short time of being upset, my fiance (now husband) and I decided to look on this as a chance to go wild.

Not so long after this, I was getting ready to take some really severe medication for my P.C.O.S. and before you can take this, you have to verify that you are not pregnant.  At the time, age 20, though I knew someday I would want children, I was still not  quite ready and was figuring that everything would go according to plan.  So, I peed on the stick and prayed.  Let me tell you, praying doesn’t mean jack shit when you are in your early twenties and are as busy as we were.  That’s right miracle number one discovered, and I freaked.  I think I peed on enough pregnancy tests to kill a person, because of shock and a need to prove to myself that I wasn’t crazy.  This set of nine months passed in a blur of college, a wedding, and settling into our first place.

Baby #2 was equally as shocking.  I was not hoping for another and at the time really wanted to just get my life set in order.  I was asked shortly before finding out, “when do you guys plan on having more kids?”  My response at the time?  “Um, not for a few years.”  Oh that’s right turns out the moment I said that, I was a good 4 weeks pregnant and had no clue!  The day I found out about #2 I cried, I stuttered, and I looked forlornly at what was supposed to again be a cyst ready to be removed and tried to decide on the best way to tell my husband.

The problem is this time I want it.  This time I am hoping to see that extra pink line and I am scared that it won’t ever happen.

Going Back for Thirds

August 31, 2009

When I was very young, I thought I wanted to have 10 children, be 7’7″ tall, and pump gas for a living.

None of these childhood dreams have come true.  The only one I wish I were even close to is the height; I mean 5’4″ isn’t terrible, but think of all the cool stuff I could do if I was super tall.  Need to get something from the top shelf, no problem.  Need your kitten rescued from a tree?  Got it!   Need a professional basketball player to pay millions?  I could take that job.  Ahh….. dreams.

The dream I am closest to, however, is the children (halt that thought right there, I only have 2).  Though with two already, I know that I have no desire for 10  kids. Ten, is more than excessive, it reaches the  point of showing off.  Plus, who the hell really has money for 10 kids these days, that is, without a TLC show funding their lives.  I will say, however, that I have reached a point where I would like to have a third baby.  Now, we have no money so to speak, but that is not a fair judgment.  I am a teacher, and we will never have much money.  I have been told that if people waited until they had money for children many of us would not exist.  I guess, I am just trying to decide if planning a child is the right choice or not.  This would be my first and only planned pregnancy out of 3.  What if now, that I really want to go around planning these things, it just doesn’t happen.  After all, I was told I would never. have. children.

I just feel like I am not quite done having children yet.  Is there a point when people really feel finished?  Or do people just have to decide, even through a burning desire to have more, that they are done, and even though they want to and it is possible, that having even one more baby is just off limits. I just want to have one pregnancy I can celebrate seeing that extra little pink line, one pregnancy when I could enjoy telling people we were pregnant again, and one pregnancy when I felt like I was in control.  I also really want to hold another tiny being and know that my husband and I will love this child too for the rest of our lives.  One more round of tiny clothes, that warm, good smelling, tiny little head to kiss, the joys of discovering a new personality, and the cuddling. Ohhhhhh the cuddling.

I know those are the good things, but I have thought of the bad stuff too.  What if we end up in the NICU again, could I handle that? Or the diapers, screaming, spit-up, lack of sleep, toilet training and many other things.  But these all seem like small trade offs for the amount of joy babies bring into the world around them.

So, does going back for thirds make me crazy?  Is it a bad idea?  How do I know if enough, is enough; because sometimes, when I am having cake, I have a very hard time separating enough from too much.