Weekend Recap

Okay, this weekend was Terrible!  Yes, terrible with a capital “T” and that is not all the of the words I can think of but, it is just about the best that doesn’t include swear words.

Saturday (on my day to sleep in until noon) we got up early (before 9 am) and went to the Zoo.  The zoo has always been a fun trip and usually we take public transit and then walk the last mile-ish.  This time I really didn’t want to wake up the additional hour early to take the train so we took the car instead.

Now, despite our usual tendancy to be late for absolutely everything, we were the first ones there (though still 1o minutes late).  We wandered around a little, saw the lions sleeping lazily like I wish I was, and then waited for our family to show up.  Everything is good so far right? Right!

Family arrives, children hug cutely and talk excitedly about being at the Zoo, reminding me why in God’s name I am up this early on a Saturday.  We start walking around looking at animals and kind of let the kids direct us as to where we should head next.  We hit the Sea Lion habitat and are looking and only catching small glimpses because the bastards like the water.  Who knew?  We decide to head down to the underwater viewing area and kind of split up so as not to clog one entrance, figuring on meeting somewhere with a decent view of these stupid lovely animals.  We are all down there faces pressed to the glass looking, talking, and making jokes about the glass leaking water.

After about 8 minutes or so, my husband looks up and says “where is our son?”

I vaguely shrug and say “isn’t he with you?”

To which I hear “No, I thought he was with you!”

At which point we both begin looking about and calling for our lovely boy.  He is no where to be found in this dank dark weird place so we each leave the entrance we came in running (which since my hip surgery, isn’t something I do often) and looking around out front in all of the easy places, meeting up in the middle, childless.  Needless to say, I am already having a minor heart attack and picturing all of the horrible things that could have happened in this lost time.  I tell my husband to start looking and that I am going to tell a Zoo employee and and keep scouting the nearby area.

I get to a Zoo employee and tell them that I have “misplaced” my son and he gets that alarmed look and says “Okay, Ma’am, I will call security right now!”

The lady on the walkie talkie responds to this by saying very nonchalantly “yeah, I will be there in about 5 minutes if I can.”

Here is where I truly begin to lose it!  5 Minutes!?!  Are you fucking kidding me?  That is a long time and granted, yes, I lost my kid, but what the fuck does zoo security really have to do, because as I find out later in my story,  it really can’t  be that much.

Cute boy

Imagine losing this and the fear that sets in your heart at that moment. He is older now, but will always be this adorable to his mother!

So, I start looking around on my own, and my husband is still looking, and I must have a good panic stricken look going because a few strangers are staring at me funny and one couple asks if I am okay.  I tell them of my situation and the guy is asking me what my kid looks like, and what he is wearing.  To this man and woman who began helping me look for my child, let me please say Thank you!  A thousand times, Thank you!

This search goes on for about 5 minutes (still no damn security by the way) when I look across the area we are in to see my husband looking like a night in shining armor carrying our 5 year old son.  Other than the shining armor part, he also looked like he was about ready to have a heart attack and die on the spot.    I thank the wonderous people helping me and point out my husband and run over there, and kiss my son while thanking God.

Crisis one, ended well.

Life continues pretty much as planned with a bit more hand holding and constant double checking the number of children in our group.  We stay at the zoo and play, eat a picnic lunch, roam and just generally enjoy oursleves.

It has now been about  6 hours and we are all hungry again and thinking of going out to eat.  So, we make sure we have everyone and head to the car.  We walk the million miles across the zoo, over the hills and through the woods and parking lot to finally make it to our car.  I am putting our daughter in her car seat when my husband opens and trunk and calls me there to ask if I was rooting through the diaper bag before we left the car.

“Ummm, no.  I just put it in the trunk.”  said tiredly and meanly.

“Well, Jennie, are you sure look at this.”

Hmmmm… thinking, thinking, yup still thinking.  “Well, I guess I could have done that, I don’t know.  Let’s just get to the restaurant and think about this.”

“Okay, I will go put the address in the GPS.”

Two seconds later, “Uhhh, Jennie! Our car has been broken into, the GPS is missing.”

“Wait, what? You’re sure? Did you look over here?” playing the role of naive and stupid today is Jennie.

After going through the rest of our car, it is clear that my purse, the GPS, some toll money, and 24 childrens novels are missing.  Oh, that’s right I said it, 24 children’s novels.  Who in their right mind, in a quick in and out kind of  theft scheme has the fucking time and space to steal children’s books.

So, we call the police, get a report number and are told basically sorry, better luck next time. On the way out of the zoo we figure we should tell the people who are now forcing us to pay 19 dollars for this lovely parking place and they say, “well, you can call the actual zoo, but that’s not my job.”

So, to recap, I hate the Zoo and their Shitty, Shitty Security!


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